Freaks Anonymous

I’m a little late on a reaction, I know, but it’s better late than never right???  So a few days ago i heard all this fuss over Obama bowing to the emperor of Japan, and I was a little preoccupied with an accounting exam to see what it was all about.  Now i’m seeing that Dick Cheney is saying that the President of the United States should bow to no one.  Wow, seriously??  Now I’m no pro at traveling to any continent other than Europe, and I know even from country to country in Europe common courtesy and manners differ…however, whenever you go to any country you really should know what is acceptable and what is rude.  Unless you’re Dick Cheney apparently, cuz then american trumps anything else…

Waaaaaaaaay back in the day, probably when one of the first few times I went to Germany people loved Americans touring their country, they were just thrilled.  But slowly the attitude changed, the statement “i’m from the United States” turned from what you wanted to tell people to what you avoided at all costs saying.  You wanna know why?  Mr. Cheney’s attitude is widespread, we are a blessing to any country we visit, and they should of course submit to our ways and we can do whatever we want.  English is our language so we should be allowed to not learn one bit of any country’s language we are visiting, just yell slowly in English, because that will help.  Yet, when a foreigner is here and they are trying to speak english and it is very broken we turn to the person closest to us and say “They are in our country they should learn our language or leave.” 

This is honestly my biggest pet peeve, I HATE HATE HATE the evolved American mindset.  It’s like when I have people over and they just walk in and are rude and messing things up and just horrible guests, I will never say anything to them, I will smile and take it, but they aren’t coming back.  And that’s kind of the way many countries of the world are treating us, as horrible guests that aren’t really welcomed back, to me that is really sad.  I don’t want that, I kind of hope that someday saying I’m from the United States won’t be blackballing me from enjoying the rich cultures of the world.  Then again, I’m not as worldly or smart as Dick Cheney…I have also yet to shoot someone so I guess he must be a lot more intelligent than me.

i love cold case files and any other crime show….it’s a wierd creepy obsession i have with murderers and their past and how the crimes are solved.  A few years ago on my birthday Katie and two friends took me out to dinner,  one of the friends was actually an older guy who became mine and katie’s friend because he came into starbucks frequently.  To give you an idea of how much older than us he was he told us a story about his college days.  It was halloween weekend, he attended marquette university, him and his friend decided to wear mesh tanktops for their halloween costume (don’t ask, i didn’t and honestly i have no idea what they were going as in mesh tanktops??)  Well his friend left the party they were at early leaving him to fend for himself, as any wisconsinite knows, halloween is almost always a very chilly holiday,  and apparently it was either snowing or close to snowing cuz he was sooooo cold walking back home.  A car pulled up next to him and this guy offered him a ride, and he’s a bigger guy, probably not someone anyone would try messing with, he thought.   Well this guy was driving him home and all of the sudden this guy puts his hand on his thigh and tried to kiss him and grab him.  Our friend punched him in the face, opened the car door and jumped out of the car.  Later, i’m not sure how much later, whether it was months or years or what, he saw on the news the same guy who tried to kiss him.  The guy was Jeffrey Dahmer….Idk how our friend wasn’t on the phone with 20/20, cuz i soooo woulda been….

So the other day my old roommate was talking about how she is going to snap under stress, and i asked her if she thought she’d be going on some sort of murder spree, or bank robberies that would gain international fame, and then i told her i hoped so….She asked me why?  I told her i really had dreams of being on E! true story about a murderer or something and that i could come on and say that she used to be my roommate and somewhere deep down I knew that the way she loved making cupcakes was really an attempt to bury her murderous sociopathic ways, and then i would approach law and order and offer to play myself in their recreation of the incident.  And you know what she told me??? She told me she wouldn’t do that for me….you know when she would have a rough day at classes i would pick her up and for her birthday I got her a really sweet pair of earrings and yet, she can’t do this one thing for me????  This is why i live alone again, cuz some people are so very selfish…

So among college students the “easiest” way to make money is to donate plasma.  You can do homework, watch movies, do whatever in the half hour that you donate plasma.  Seems like a really good way to make money, you can make like $200 a month by doing pretty much nothing.  So i decided since katie, who is a big baby who cannot handle pain at all, did it, i could too.  Easy money for nothing.  So last week i went, got denied because i was too dehydrated.  Came back today and I got the green light to donate.  The needle going into my arm was a little uncomfortable but i dealt with it.  Then I went to the window to get my money and as i was standing there it suddenly felt like i was hearing things from only one side of my head.  This guy kept asking me if i wanted something to drink and then i had a water in one hand and a capri sun in one.  I kept yelling to katie i wanted to lay down and she told me to go ahead and lay down…well i had to walk to the bed things and as i was walking katie said she turned around and i fell face first down.  I have never passed out in my life, never ever, and i have donated blood before so i thought this would be fine too.  My next memory is waking up as i was lifted on the bed and i had like six people putting wet cloths on me and asking me questions and shoving juices in my hands.  I am mortified, they checked me for concussion because apparently i fell forward and slammed face first into the tile floor, which i’m sure tomorrow will be apparent for everyone to see…..

i am probably not going to repeat my plasma donation again.

So a few years back my dear sister celebrated her 21st birthday.  We had a party at Dan’s parents house.  Things got crazy, as they normally do when I’m around.  In addition to tearing it up on American Idol with the PS2….seriously if you die before hearing me sing total eclipse of the heart…you have missed out;  i was striking many awesome poses.  My sister took this picture…what it fails to capture is the cake, what i was making that clearly super ecstatic face for….

Well then, she decided that after tagging me in this picture she should tag me in the next one….stating that it was also me…rude…

I first I tried fighting it, but when it was my 21st birthday i was striking a pose and when i finally got around to uploading the photos I came to terms with my true self….And with halloween coming up quickly I decided to embrace it.  Plus this whole vampire/ bat thing is so in right now…talk around town is i’m actually replacing Kristen Stewart in the next Twilight Series movie.  So enjoy.

mom, you should be so proud of my good looks.

I’m am an avid skeptic of breaks.  I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a break situation or had a friend who was, but when they are in a relationship and they go on a break.  To me it’s just a few steps away from a break up, i mean really it’s always been my philosophy that if you can deal with someone when they are at their complete worst, you don’t deserve them at their best.  However, I feel like my thoughts on breaks have changed….

I think everyone needs to go on breaks, regularly, with themselves.  I am currently on a break with myself.  You see, I was getting all in my face about how I wasn’t doing this or that good enough, a lot of insults and putdowns and it just was time to take a break and really think about the relationship.  I might sound crazy, but to be honest I think it is super important to go on frequent breaks with yourself, where you just kind of step back, out of yourself and just be.  For some people it’s music, others its working out, everyone has their own thing, but i really do think we are all our hardest critics and until we give ourselves permission to be as fabulous and fun as we are, we won’t be, because there are so many stressors that can weigh us down and keep us from just checking out.  I literally will listen to the FIFA world cup song by Herbert Gronnemeyer and go completely out of myself.  I go nuts, the people at the gym think i have some sort of tourettes syndrome cuz i do kind of sing it, but they probably shouldn’t be concerned until i go all brandy chestaine at the gym…

Ahh crap, I’m calling, I gotta take this, I think the break’s over

So I bit the bullet and headed back to the gym…urgh.  This phase in the past will last like 1 week before i make an excuse for being too busy…But this time I’m committed.  I did my cardio and then headed down to the weight area….and if i’m honest i will admit that i have the upper body strength of an infant.  However, yesterday I started with the lower body…and I was impressed!  For my entire childhood my life was consumed with soccer, you do know that Sheboygan says soccer, right?  Well anyways I had abnormally muscular and strong legs, i probably could have kicked a hole in a wall if i felt like, which is opposite to my mother’s upper body strength….she can punch holes in doors. i saw it.  Anyways, i haven’t played soccer since i was a sophomore in H.S.  I got a job, quit soccer and whatever.  So i kind of figured that I my leg strength would match my upper body strength and I would have to revert to those little chairs that infants sit in and they can roll around floors.  WRONG.  I got to 270 lbs on this leg press machine and today I am 0 percent sore.  So here’s the catch, I’m going to workout again today, and I’m going to become either:

a) american gladiator

b) usc fighter

c) east german body builder

They all sound good to me, although i guess i have to become east german to accomplish the last one.  but i figure some testosterone and steriods and i’ll just fit right in.

This week has been pretty good, except i haven’t been sleeping very well at all, most nights i only get 4 hours of sleep….and if you know me, you know this is a problem, i need approximately 14 hours of sleep a night to be nice.  I’m thinking it’s because of my pillows, because everyday my neck is hurting so much, putting ice and hot packs on my neck is pretty much my full time job, plus i’ve created a neck brace out of my little roll pillow that is also a little bear, i look like a giant nerd, oh well though, its not like i wear it out….

Anyways, last night i was sitting at home minding my own business icing my neck when i get a txt message.  It is from one of my friends and asks what i’m doing, in bosnian.  When I was in high school i became acquainted with the bosnian population of my city, plus Armin, Katie’s ex-fiance was bosnian, so i was around it kinda often.  I still keep in touch with quite of few of them, so I know some.  I mostly know just little things here and there, just basic stuff.  But my friend who texted me apparently decided that after decades of me saying i’d learn it, it was time for me to actually do what i was saying i would….I was able to respond to how i am doing and asked how he was…after that…i had nooo clue what he was saying.  Then my response texts were “okay i know ja means i, i know sta means what, i know ti means you.  so i’ve got what i you….yeah idk what you are saying.”  Thankfully one of the first things i taught myself in bosnian and one of the staples of every conversation was the phrase i don’t understand  and how do you say that in english well he continues to text me and i’ve started forwarding his texts to my other bosnian friends to translate it…probably not gonna learn it this way, but oh well

It’s actually kind of wierd that last night this whole bosnian immersion thing happened, because Erica and I are planning a fun filled day and it actually involves going to Ilija’s which is a bosnian restaurant and enjoying the cevapi!!  Other plans include possibly the pumpkin farm, showing her where the hidden krispy kreme is located and then at night going out with a big group

I’m just hoping that my neck isn’t bothering me, cuz otherwise all of these things might kind of suck.

This last weekend was fun-ish…

Let me explain, i was having a fantastic time, enjoying taco dip, brownies, pizza, old friends…..and then it happened, i was conned into going downstairs and playing wii.  I have to say my most high tech equipment is my n64, and i am happy with it, this interactive business…well it’s nonsense.  And as for me being allowed to play games with people, it doesn’t normally happen.  I am very competitive and it generally doesn’t end well for anyone involved.  For example, I played some game where the point is to take over the world, i have no idea what it was called, and i was playing it with Evan, Katie, and Armin…keep in mind this was about three years ago, I convinced Evan to be my allied force, which ended up being me screwing him over and him helping me.  He was 9 i think and had no idea that i was the one behind him losing…and then Katie told him what i had done, and i started losing, and then i threw the board across the room….so no one could win.  Don’t even ask about pass the bomb…

Well anyways we started playing the wii with wii sports resort or something and dan asked me if i wanted to swordfight?? i don’t even know what that means, but i said okay…and guess what, i was AMAZING at it.  Unfortunately some people were hurt during this game…I punched my mom in the arm and i also hit my friend Melissa.  Neither of these were out of rage, it seems that when playing wii i see NOTHING else and move closer and closer to my opponent till i physically hit them…so sorry!  actually, if you look at the picture you see the way my mom is holding her arm…that’s cuz dan captured this shot of me hitting her!

In addition to the injuries other people suffered I have severely pulled a muscle in my arm.  Don’t ask me how, cuz i have no freaking clue, i’ve been heating/icing my arm, taking pain meds, pretty much anything and everything….and yet my arm still hurts….i’m sooo close to contacting the makers of wii and suing them for my injuries…i suggest Melissa and my mom do the same

For those of you who don’t know me that well, or haven’t had the pleasure of being around me a lot, i tend to have a little bit of a temper.  I usually only unleash my temper on the people i love most ( love you :] sorry for screaming in your face)  or when i’m driving.  But we won’t get into my road rage here, i feel like it is a healthy release to scream at people on the road.  Anyways I’m trying this thing where i’m not a complete butthead.  And let me tell you it is rough…for example i didn’t yell when katie put the hard boiled eggs under the sweet tea when i told her it leaks and the eggs were drowned in sweet tea…and they had cracks.  However i did scream when i walked into my living room after class to find a bag of cookies eaten except for one.  And when i asked where they went she said, “we ate them.”  Uhhh no, WE did not, I was in class YOU were eating the cookies….there was much more yelling involved. Mostly cuz i was planning on eating cookies for dinner.  Anyways I’ve found pretty much any rage filled situation can be diffused by putting in the  Sound of Music or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang…so pretty much I’m at the same spot i was when i was 3.  And mom, believe me if i still had that bean bag katie could probably take a picture of me asleep after throwing a major temper tantrum…

But seriously though, the biggest issue with me is probably I let it slide and let it slide until the tiniest little thing will just set me off, don’t get me wrong, i’m not the hulk where i turn green and rip my shirt. i’m more the cookie monster

I’ve been so blaaahh lately.  I don’t know how to explain it other than blaaaaaaaaaah.  I always felt a sort of drive behind everything i did, i was so driven to do everything wonderfully and i knew that i could do anything…but now its kinda gone.  One day i just woke up and said to myself it’s not looking too good for you, you really aren’t THAT smart, you don’t have THAT good of a future ahead of you, the list goes on and on.  I’m trying to pull myself out of this pit, but it’s rough, especially when you take a little fall down from the cloud you had your head in, everything seems so bleak.  I wish I could go back to when I did everything in school perfectly without any effort, cuz right now I’m feeling like even with effort i’m pretty much screwed…

Everyday I wake up hoping feeling less and less inspired, like maybe i should just bite the bullet and start back at mcdonalds…

ick.  I gotta get outta this funk.